Will I regret not having children?

Posted by: Newswalle

The dilemma I am married and in my 30s. My husband and I are happy in all aspects of our lives. We both (separately and together), we decided to have children. I never feel "maternal" and although I love kids I have ever tempted to have my own. I think if I had been a decade younger when I got married, or when my husband was very excited about a father who would have acted differently, but I've felt pretty consistently in my life. I see this as aproblem, but the people around us to do. Family and friends tell us that repentance will inevitably set in a decade from now, especially when I realize I can not to have children biologically. Others tell us that our relationship will be weaker without children, to hold them together. I understand that intellectually, but my gut tells me that my decision is right for me and my husband. I Imissing something? Is it unnatural for a woman does not want your own child?

Mariella Unusual but reacts unnatural. Centuries propaganda telling us that we created to procreate, but the great thing about being human is that you have to take their own decisions. With or without children, is one of the burning questions. It is further supported by the fact that it is. One of the few areas of our physical life, where time is not really complicated final decision You can learn to run a marathon at 60, dive than seventy years, but if your seal of approval eggs exhausted their days Procreating larger (though, fortunately, to improve this situation).

Your friends are right to focus for you, but does not mean there is not way to go right and wrong. We are too bright based purely creations of our lives to the conservation of the species. People reached posterity and contribute to the future of mankind in many ways, from writing symphonies invent penicillin, the cure for cancer, writing opus aliterary save the cat or your neighbor.

The popular theory that the only purpose of a woman on the planet make babies from the Middle Ages, when what before emancipated ideas about our station could cause unpleasant prospect same standing out. To bring together the wonders of the children, we can push our bodies to perform feats of Olympic style, and stands up to all kinds of other natural fabulousness – so there is no reason that the work should be less a his right to choose other challenges.

Living childfree life has much to recommend it, including improved personal freedom and less financial burden – and none of the options is that it smelled. Interestingly enough, parenting, although one of the hardest decisions you will ever make is one of the few life-changing events that lead to too much control. No apparent to a lifetime of addiction to the offspring, which, to feel no responsibility there and spend their youth work, how to leave to appeal to all.

No one goes into raising a simple life and the mouth does not see it until it has already been decided. Procreation is the incarnation of Catch 22 Having shown that for most of my 20's and 30's and then, is my best advice, the terrible despair of someone who left it, it may be too late to seriously consider the choice they make that. When I confronted my own reticence, I realized it was not so Ihad no desire to be a mother, but my own childhood experiences had made me on another innocent reluctant to impose something similar.

Once I had decided on the irrationality than my fear and I had the means to do things differently to actively Ibegan want to do certificate. Luckily for me Iwasn't too late. You can not determine, assimilate, but before reaching the point of no return ensuring the best possible way, which is what its disadvantages as well as advantages are clear in his argument and optimistic. Her husband has the luxury to change your mind; do not.

Important decisions we make and durable, must be selfish affected with possible consequences for decades, only of others and made AFIRM keep eye on circumstances that may change. To separate pairs easily and without children (if the same painful); Life is an existential argument that is hard to miss, if you know how to extend their babies and children and seek to improve our lives. Do what's right for you is often a guessing game and none of us is infallible in our elections. No one can tell you if you should be a parent, but good friends will likely continue to remember is achoice that must be performed with open eyes.

If you have a dilemma, send a brief e-mail to mariella.frostrup @ observer.co.uk. Follow Mariella on Twitter @ mariellaf1